


Fill My Heart With Joy

by weedfictive



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: F/F, M/M, alana/zoe will be later, hopefully realistic relationship between zoe and connor, so will evan and connor, theyre doing good but zoe is still a little scared and angry towards connor, those are the only characters i have planned and written out rn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-08 06:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14098824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weedfictive/pseuds/weedfictive
Summary: Connor is indifferent, Evan is worried, Zoe just wants to forget about it, Alana wants to be good enough and noticed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is the new fic, i hope u like it and think of it as an improvement.

The boy in the black shirt nodded and the small white alien in front of him that was looking up at him expectantly nodded. “I wish… to be happy. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore, I hate being mentally unstable. I’m sick of it. So, grant my wish, Incubator.” 

There was suddenly a blinding light that covered the both of them so no one - not that anyone could even look at them considering they were both in the boys room - could see what was going on. Although, once it had gone, the being that had been called “Incubator” was gone and the boy was passed out. All that remained as proof of what had happened was a small, shiny, pink and gold, due to the metal encasing the pink color, one-of-a-kind egg.


	2. expend

Connor didn’t really know how he ended up in the school’s computer lab with a shaking, almost crying, stuttering boy who had his name on his cast in front of him. All he knew was that he was pissed and ready to kill this creep just to keep him away from his sister. He had always been a little bit protective of her and after his wish, the protectiveness enhanced by 50%. More on that later, though, since the creep was talking, or attempting to, and apologizing saying something about “it’s for therapy, it’s not your sister it's another zoe, blah blah blah”. Connor didn’t really believe him about the letter being about another Zoe but he _did_ believe him about the therapy thing. He tried not to focus on it, untensed a little, and just asked about the first thing. “Why do you go to therapy?” It was pretty obvious why the other boy went to therapy, Connor just kind of wanted to know the specific reason(s). “Um— Just, just anxiety and d— other stuff.” 

“What’s your name, Mr. Computer Lab?”

Mr. Computer Lab stiffened a little more and hesitated before saying his actual name, “Evan Hansen.” 

“Well, Evan Hansen, while I don’t believe the whole shtick about the Zoe mentioned in the letter being another one and not my sister, I, the merciful Connor Murphy, will let you have a free pass from having your ass beat.” 

“Th—thanks, I… I think?”

Connor totally would have beat Evan up but he didn’t want to waste his energy on fighting someone or something that wasn’t a witch, and now with nothing left to do in school, he turned around, walked out the door, and left. He hadn’t realized until he got home and Kyubey questioning him about it that he still had the letter.


	3. doubt

Evan Hansen was now panicking about what had just happened but let’s be real here, when was he not freaking out. He noticed that Connor hadn’t given back the letter he really needed but luckily for him, the Google docs page was still open so he had a chance to print another one. When he looked it over, checking to make sure no ink had gotten a little messy making some words hard to read, he felt a little bad about even mentioning Zoe Murphy in his letter. 

It wasn’t like that whole deal was going anywhere. They never even talked save for earlier when she had to apologize for Connor and that other time in like, fifth grade because Evan wanted to check out the same book Zoe wanted and she asked and he gave it up so fast even though he kind of really needed it for a book project but he could’ve always had found another copy. He never did and had to pick a boring book to write about. 

After he stopped thinking about Zoe, Evan thought about her brother. He didn’t really know what to think except for what people said about him and the look, the one that people sometimes gave when they’ve given up on you, some teachers had when they overheard their students talking about Connor. Evan couldn’t help but have some sort of pity for him and wanting to help even though the other boy would probably just beat him up and yell that he “made a wrong assumption” and to”never talk to me again”.   
Ah, he shouldn’t really even thinking about him! The only two times they’ve interacted Evan had been pushed or shoved or yelled at. 

...Would Connor still act aggressive and impulsive if he had at least one person to listen to him? Sometimes that’s how Evan felt. He would feel hopeless and guilty and scared but all he had to do was talk to someone he trusted and he felt a little bit better afterwards. It wouldn’t be like Connor was some kind of… emotional charity case. At least he hoped it didn’t feel like that for the both of them. And so, Evan made his decision and decided to try and befriend Connor Murphy.

Evan had decided to stay up until three in the morning planning out how he would start a conversation with Connor and tried to think of all the ways he would react to certain replies. Unfortunately, he never talked to him. He was way too nervous to talk to him so he ended up waiting until Connor talked to him first. 

So, he was very thankful that a strangely convenient partner project had been assigned in the only class he had with Connor. He was _not_ thankful when neither of them made the first move and the teacher had to assign them together and Connor… didn’t even know because he was asleep. He wished he could just die right then and there.


	4. anesthesia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when it says "Evan" in bold thats just his contact name, not connor saying evan / cred to https://magica-witch-project.tumblr.com for the witch idea

Connor was super fucking confused when Evan, the guy he had practically bullied a while ago, was running up to him and started talking to him about a project he had in a class and wanted Connor to choose a topic even though he (probably) wasn’t in the class the other boy had a project in. 

“Why are you talking to me about this when I literally have no idea what you’re talking and asking about?”

Long and blunt. Perfect.

“Because, we— it’s just kinda— it’s the, um—”

“Say it or leave me alone.”

“We— we have science together and there was a, uh, project assigned for it and we were put together, so…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

The two just stared at each other until the silence was just too awkward to bear any longer.  
“Should I give you my number so we can talk about the project or something? I dunno if I’ll even come to school the rest of the week, so yeah.”

Evan nodded and Connor put his number in the cute phone. Well, not that the phone itself was cute but the case. Anyhoo. 

“There you go. I’ll see you later or whatever.”

Connor had basically sprang into a run after that awkward exchange. After doing everything he needed to do to get home and be in his room, he felt like he could finally relax. When he thought back to the wish he made months ago, he frowned slightly. Sure, he was happy and his family and him were on better terms, especially with Zoe, who only slightly forgave him. It was still pretty upsetting whenever she hesitated to make a joke in fear of triggering something and especially when she flinched when he made a loud sound. It was fair, though. He had been… a really bad brother to her. Ah, right, the wish thing. 

He wasn’t fully happy. Sometimes he still felt down or angry but it wasn’t as bad as it used to be. He guessed he could be grateful for _something_ , at least. 

Connor wondered if there were anymore magical people in his area. He felt a tad territorial at that thought but he _was_ the first magical boy, or magical anything, aside from Kyuubey, to be there. He was glad to possibly be the only one. There were surprisingly a lot of witches so he was able to store grief seeds inside a safe that was beside his bed. He then wondered what it would be like if he had someone else to fight with him - to not be alone or afraid and someone to tell his family that he was dead after he was gone, knowing that if things were always going to stay like it was now then it would be a couple of days or weeks or months before his family say he was missing. 

They would probably just think he was reverting back to his old ways; smoking, drinking, staying out till twelve in the afternoon the next day. He felt a little guilty for thinking of them like that but it was true, regardless of how guilty he felt or how much hope he had that they wouldn’t think that and say he was missing a day after his unpreventable death by witch.

He had been forced out of his slightly morbid thoughts when his phone vibrated next to him and a message from an unknown number showed on the screen.

**Unknown**

**Hey this is connor right?**

Connor sighed and brought the phone up to his face to type a reply.

 **Yeah what's up**  
Three seconds passed.

**Unknown**

**This is evan! Sorry for immediately bringing it up but what topic should we choose for the project?**

He didn’t want to reply and just go to sleep.

**Oh uh. Probably the nature one**

**Evan**

**Can it be about forests? I know a lot about them so it’ll be easier and we’ll get it done faster**

Connor had gotten a little upset over the last part of the message. ‘Get it done faster’? Does Evan not want to be around him? To be fair, he _did_ kind of act like a bully the last two times they interacted. Whatever, he just wanted to walk around town and look for something to fight. Hell, he’d even fight a familiar even though it would be a waste of energy and magic but whatever. 

He opened his window and walked onto the roof and then jumped onto a strong tree branch that was three inches away. Connor looked down and didn’t know whether or not to jump, wondering which way would be faster. Jump down and hope it doesn’t hurt or climb down like a responsible young adult? Considering his house (and the tree) was three stories high, he decided against wildly jumping and hoped no one saw him climb down thinking he was up to no good. 

Why was he even sneaking out of his own house? Connor didn’t know the answer to that question. All he knew was that it was fun and felt amazing when you did it successfully. 

Connor had been walking around town for a good twenty minutes before discovering a witch’s labyrinth. He stepped in and immediately he could see strange looking cherub angels, although it appeared as though they were made out of cardboard or something similar. He didn’t want to transform just yet, wanting to appear as a normal human who had just gotten lost and somehow got stuck in a weird fever dream area. 

He walked and walked, turning corners occasionally, sometimes seeing relics from the used-to-be magical girl’s past. A stuffed bear, pictures of her family, and some torn posters of her magical form. It made him want to cry for her but he knew he had to end her suffering as a witch, even though she wasn’t even _herself_ anymore. When the feelings of grief and sympathy had minimized to almost nothing, he transformed. 

His magical form had manifested itself a light pink slim-fit dress shirt, pale pink chiffon harem pants that had slit openings at the calves with pearls bordering the cuts. The pants ended at his ankles with a small ribbon tying the fabric closed. He had black stockings underneath which he had been extremely thankful for, seeing as the pants had been pretty see-through. A black leather strap ran across his chest, allowing for a teardrop shape in the middle of the strap his soul gem could be placed. Two other straps that ran over his shoulders connected at the respectful left and right side of the middle strap. Connor was thankful he had a flat chest or else he would’ve been too embarrassed to be seen by even a witch in the outfit he had.

He willed his weapon, a sabre sword, and walked into a room that he knew where the witch would be located. A dark mass of feathers angled up at a fake sky and some heavy armor and weapons had fallen from the sky. Fake cherubs had been flying and swinging all around the mass. Black goo dripped from the ceiling but when they were almost close to the ground, the became light feathers and softly hit the floor. The feathers had all accumulated into witch runes which spoke a name, Eligor. 

The black mass unfurled its wings, finally taking notice of Connor, and he could see all of its eyes on him. Armor and shield at her side, she sent sharp swords flying and moved extremely fast towards her foe. Connor had dodged all of the weapons she threw at him and moved before she could get too close for comfort. He tried to exert the quirk he had gained due to his wish, a kind of anesthesia. It made his opponent happy and calm and it caused them to forget about anything malevolent they had been even doing. If there was just enough, it could make them hallucinate and stay still while they were watching a fake scene of what they truly wanted happening. It was… a bit sad but it had to be done.

Although, It brought him a bit of comfort and he hoped it did the same for the witches he battled. Falsely fulfilling a hope they had originally been fighting for before they gave in and become a monster, hurting innocent civilians. It seemed to be a little fair, letting them be happy one more time before they ceased to exist. 

Connor quickly ended the fight and Eligor had disappeared with a dark cloud and a loud clang, leaving behind a grief seed he would add to his collection at home.


	5. kyu

Evan grew worried since Connor had stopped sending replies after a couple of minutes. It was kind of stupid since they weren’t really even friends, just partners for a project. Maybe it had been something he said? He decided to read through the chat log to see if he had said anything slightly rude and that was when Connor decided to send a message. It was super embarrassing since Evan had read receipts on and it just made him look desperate and _of course_ the other boy had to bring it up and tease him about it.  
 **Connor**

**Did you really miss me that much that you were just waiting with our messages open to see when i would reply**

**Yes**

He didn’t know what else to send. If he said shut up or no or something similar, Connor might’ve just gotten mad and left him to do the project on his own. 

**Connor**

**Lmaoo you can say the truth. I wont get mad, i want a good grade on the project too**

Evan was a little disappointed in his reply. He had actually missed talking to him a little bit, even if it _was_ just about a boring school project. 

**Connor**

**Anyway you can come over to my house on the weekend. We can just use a poster board and make a model of a forest on it and glue some paper to write. I have some stuff we can use to make the model**

**Alright! Do you want me to just type the stuff up right now so we just have to do the model?**

**Connor**

**Yeah that’ll probably be easier. Good thinking evan**

He was feeling a little bold, because of the small praise he had received, and decided to ask if he could just go over tomorrow. Thankfully, Connor didn’t seem to be weirded out by it or anything, just agreed and said he would find all the supplies for tomorrow. So, before Evan went to bed, he typed up the information he needed on a document, changed into something more comfortable, brushed his teeth, and set his alarm. 

He wouldn’t remember his dream - red eyes against a white background just _staring_ at him, he hated it in the moment - in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that evan's chapters are short since they're just kinda straight to the point rn, but theyll be a little longer later.


End file.
